© 2020 by Alison Darrow.

Artiste manquée

January 4, 2016

 

One day in the mid-1990s, I walked away from art forever. I moved out of the loft to which I had aspired for so long – the one that a full-time job and draining commute enabled me to afford but that left me scant time for painting – leaving my half-realized work and dreams behind. In one self-immolating gesture, I exchanged them all for the top floor of a triple-decker in a safer neighborhood and the office drudgery that paid my rent. I was tired of being too tired to paint after a full day of work, and I didn’t see how my situation would ever improve. I would never have a show in a coffee shop, let alone in a gallery, because I wasn’t producing work, and I didn’t know how to get anything I did create out into the world. I was stuck in a dead end, a chimera bombinating into the void. Despair won.

 

But the world, and my place in it, evolved. I never stopped falling on love with light and color or collecting images, and a couple of years ago I started actively planning to return to doing art “someday.” Long story, but someday is here at last! Today I started a small canvas, underpainting an image I chose a couple of months ago: the first snow on a wooded country road. A simple re-launch project, right, not too many colors? Well. Underpainting is a new technique for me, and I chose to do full reverse color rather than monochrome: challenging and bewildering. It went quickly at first, but then I started getting confused as the complexity mounted. I blocked most everything in and then quit. The result is pretty, fresh, and fauve, but it’s also watery and slight. Let's see what tomorrow brings...

 

 

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